An Homage to my roots

I am from antique sideboards

from Pledge and Old English

I am from the front parlor

Pristine, proper

it smelt like the starch from my Sunday dress

I am from crocuses,

the first hardy harbingers of spring

disturbing complacency with hope for renewal

 

I’m from the “Klutz Award” and dirty Polish ditties

from Kasjaka and Lucchesi and dependable Stone

I’m from old world tradition

and melting pot charm

From ‘do unto others’ and ‘blooming arschloch’

I’m from Sunday sermons

and open-doors to those in need.

 

I’m from the Mayflower and Ellis Island

Pasties kept in underwear drawers and hand-made noodles

(like flapping linens hung out to dry).

From the Limburger chimney

to the Anderson water curse and the toilet which crumbled underneath grandpa

 

In my mind I see each picture

Old and new, traditional and modern, faded and clear

I am from the past and the present

a contradiction of culture,

a patchwork of love.

via Daily Prompt: Homage

 

(C)Sara Ackerman, 2017

Back-to-School In-service Check List

Some back-to-school reminders for all you teachers out there:

  1. Wear professional clothes everyday and be thankful your pants from last fall still fit your best.
  2. All teachers are urged to wear clean undergarments or not. You do you.
  3. Urinate between classes if you can make it to the other side of the building and back in under four minutes.
  4. Listen to colleagues discuss brag about  their professional development over summer break. 
  5. Pretend to Be an engaged listener. No one can tell if you daydream.
  6. Spend hours Prepareing for your classroom at home because administrative staff has packed all three in-service days with hours of extra trainings and meetings.
  7. Please remember to thank the custodial staff for their hard work over the summer and don’t slide any desks or tables over the freshly waxed floors or they will eat your soul for lunch.
  8. Cover all food if you heat it in the staff microwave to avoid unnecessary spillage the brown ooze that was crusted onto all three microwaves by the end of the year.
  9. Staff t-shirts are to be worn every Friday to do not promote school spirit and camaraderie among teaching staff and after twenty weeks of wearing the same shirt, students will ask if you are too poor to buy anything else.
  10. Silence all personal devices the voice in your head urging you to seek another profession and avoid using posting about your back-to-school meltdowns on social media.

 

via Daily Prompt: Ooze