Back-to-School In-service Check List

Some back-to-school reminders for all you teachers out there:

  1. Wear professional clothes everyday and be thankful your pants from last fall still fit your best.
  2. All teachers are urged to wear clean undergarments or not. You do you.
  3. Urinate between classes if you can make it to the other side of the building and back in under four minutes.
  4. Listen to colleagues discuss brag about  their professional development over summer break. 
  5. Pretend to Be an engaged listener. No one can tell if you daydream.
  6. Spend hours Prepareing for your classroom at home because administrative staff has packed all three in-service days with hours of extra trainings and meetings.
  7. Please remember to thank the custodial staff for their hard work over the summer and don’t slide any desks or tables over the freshly waxed floors or they will eat your soul for lunch.
  8. Cover all food if you heat it in the staff microwave to avoid unnecessary spillage the brown ooze that was crusted onto all three microwaves by the end of the year.
  9. Staff t-shirts are to be worn every Friday to do not promote school spirit and camaraderie among teaching staff and after twenty weeks of wearing the same shirt, students will ask if you are too poor to buy anything else.
  10. Silence all personal devices the voice in your head urging you to seek another profession and avoid using posting about your back-to-school meltdowns on social media.

 

via Daily Prompt: Ooze

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