I used to feel weird when I’d curl up and hide
From the fear of the past, the horror inside.
To find a dark corner where no one could see
Where no one could find me and I could just be.
I never knew when they’d come along.
Would I be eating, talking or listening to a song?
Memories’d flash up in waves, that horrific past
Seconds to hours, I never knew how long they’d last.
It’s been three years since I’ve been swept away
Seeing the rot of humanity, smelling the stench of decay.
The memories are there, I can see them still
But their power has lessened, they only maim, not kill.
But courage and bravery, and strength are no match
For the doubt, guilt and shame whose weight have attached
To the stigma of abuse and those who survive
Those women and children who make it out alive.
Because years later I still question God’s grace.
Am I good enough or do I have to earn my place?
But slowly I’m learning my worth is inside
Where good and bad have learned to live side by side.